When we first brought Lily home from this hospital (at 6 months of age), it wasn't long before she began occupational therapy through our local Birth to 3 program. When the therapist would update progress notes, she would ask me sometimes for my ideas on goals for Lily.
"I want her to catch up to Leah."
That's not so unrealistic. Most preemies do, right? Eventually? They "catch up", and years later, you'd never know who walked first, talked first, or waved first.
I'm starting to realize that Lily may never "catch up" like that.
Within the last month or two, Lily's Speech Therapist did some testing with Lily, and said Lily has some issues with auditory processing. I knew that she was working on memory things with Lily, and it kind of clicked how that has been an issue for us.
Between the ages of 4 and 5, most kids can follow multiple-step directions. Lily can't. You have to break it down for her, slowly, and sometimes she still can't remember everything. I would get frustrated.....thinking she wasn't listening, but I didn't really understand.
When you have a kid who is born with a lot of medical problems, and they survive, you feel so grateful and blessed that they're alive. Then you deal with the other stuff....results from them spending 6 months of their life in a hospital bed, 18 months with a tube in their neck helping them breathe, 3 years getting nutrition from a tube in their belly, and their whole life being so susceptible to respiratory illness that neither one of you even remember how many hospitalizations they've had anymore.
And, once you get through all of that, somehow you think things will get easier. But they don't. Because now you're dealing with the aftereffects of all that. Now you deal with gross motor delays like not being able to walk until age 3-1/2 or jump until they're 5. You deal with reflex integration delays, making so many things more difficult, like moving upper and lower parts of the body independently or left and right sides independently. You deal with speech delays, which should eventually get better....and they do....but they don't.
Now, we add in some auditory processing issues. It makes sense, when I read about it. Things start clicking in my mind. I see where the issues are. And, I wonder if I'm equipped for this, homeschooling this child. With one child who has issues, I'd really hoped it would be easier with Lily and Leah. But it's not looking that way.
So, I'm taking a moment. A moment to really feel.
And, then many more moments to pray.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well." --Psalm 139:13-14
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it
will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." --Albert Einstein
1 comment:
(((Hugs))) You have such a precious outlook.
May you continue to clink to that scripture and feel His loving arms wrapped around you.
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